you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
