Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
