he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
