I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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