Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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