In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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