so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Girls should come with a carfax report
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
