guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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