THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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