hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
