I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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