i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
