She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
