I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
