cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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