better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
