In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Randomize
