I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
