I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
