I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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