today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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