I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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