nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
