you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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