the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
