Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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