I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
