You work out of a Hotel?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
