erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
