Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
