I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
