At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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