So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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