OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
