Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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