I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
