you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize