Having a random hookup so left but love u
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
