Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
