i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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