The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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