I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
