the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
