Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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