Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize