Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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