Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
