At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
