I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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