Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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