i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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