Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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