Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
