Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I didn't notice because vodka
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
