wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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