All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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