Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
