Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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