Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
