omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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