it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
