i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
