Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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