Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
