Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You ruined the universe
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
