I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
